Apologies to all the Brandonites who've been waiting on a blog entry - but I've got LOTS of excuses: I just tore my ACL ligament in my knee - but also got nominated for a Toronto Independent Music Award and am in the Canadian finals for another thing, so I've been busy... anyway, here it is - hope to see you all soon!

THURSDAY & FRIDAY (in which I play no music and get no sleep, but do get to fly first class)

It's my second year playing out in Brandon, Manitoba at their amazing folk fest and my third time playing Brandon at all. I love Brandon. It's this nice little city halfway between Winnipeg and Regina and I would've never known about it if it wasn't for a guy named Matt.

Matt Duboff is the Artistic Director of the folk festival - he is calmly organized, always seems to be enjoying a private joke, and somehow finds time to organize an entire folk fest while being one of the best drummers I've ever seen.

I don't know how I first got invited out to Brandon, but Matt found me somehow and we had a great show after which I got invited to a Halloween party where I got accosted by a women dressed as Aphrodite. To make up for this, Matt invited me back to his folk fest and last year, Brandon took a hankering to my song "Jet Pack" which I had to play non stop - at my tweener set, at the fire late into Saturday night (during which I apparently decided I was an amazing upright bass player...) and at every workshop regardless of the theme ("Unrequited Love songs... for a jetpack"). Anyway, Brandon holds a special place in my heart, so I was pretty pleased when Matt invited me back.

Of course getting there is always a problem. Thunder Bay, I always maintain, is the point of no return where if you're touring by car from Toronto, you may as well keep going to Victoria. But for some reason I couldn't pull together a tour and ended up back at square one with Aeroplan points - an indie musician's last resort. Another complication was that I had finagled a mainstage spot by suggesting to Matt that I could rig a band together in Brandon with musicians I had never played with... something I had never done.

I booked Lyall McDermid, a drummer who I'd stayed with last year and who was putting me up again, and on Matt's recommendation, Jesse Dietsche, a bass player from Brandon's Nu Phunk Orchestra. Both good guys - now the only issue was that Jesse could only rehearse Thursday night, when I was flying in - or right before the show...

Planning is not my strong suit and this particular plan was particularly complex and stupid. After several other crazy shows and mad prepping and packing and very little sleep for days, here is what I had come up with: I was going to fly to Winnipeg Thursday, sleeping the whole way, get in at 10:30, somehow find my way to the bus station, take an 11:45 greyhound to Brandon, get picked up at 2:30 am (3:30 my time) and then have a band practice.... and we still had no real idea how I was getting back to Winnipeg for my 6am flight on Monday.

What could possibly go wrong?!

Here's what went right: instead of a psychotic 3 am rehearsal, Jesse wisely agreed to an early Friday rehearsal (although this means that I don't get to rehearse with the full band until right before the show) and Stacey May - another amazing fest organizer - saved the day by offering to pick me up at the airport.

Here's what went wrong: my plane got delayed and I had no phone number for Stacey. They finally decided to switch me onto another plane ("for mechanical reasons" - an excellent reason in my books) and as I boarded I found out that I was in first class... I'd never been in first class... I didn't know what to do - clearly there had been a mistake. But no - I got royally treated the whole way there - which meant I didn't sleep, being finely dined, declining wine, and watching most of Batman Begins.

I show up in Brandon at midnight to find Stacey, patiently waiting. I once crashed on Stacey's floor for a night and later he saved me from Aphrodite, so he's extra awesome in my books. We talk tennis (Stacey plays - I used to) and music and whatever for over 2 hours, stopping only to appreciate that Winnipeg's gas stations offer SLURPEES WITH ICE CREAM. Ontario, get it together - Winnipeg is beating us severely in the frozen treat category.

We get in around 2:30 or 3. By this point I am realizing that Batman Begins and first class dinner was probably not worth falling asleep for the entire weekend. Plus I now have to pee. This is all made worse when we get to Lyall and Brenda's place where I'm staying and the door is locked (they'd fallen asleep)... Stacey checks the side and I run around the back, jump a fence, try the door, then jump over the fence and pee in an alleyway. Ah the life of a rockstar. Again, I crash on Stacey's couch and am out for a glorious 5 hours of sleep.

The next day, Lyall shows up to wisk me off to the Brandon Noon Show - which Matt has booked me on and which turns out to be a TV show where I'm being interviewed and playing a tune. I am completely out of it and have no idea what happened there - something about describing my music as "Canadian" - and since my voice has dropped an octave without sleep, Brandon is treated to a special Leonard Cohen version of Jetpack.

Next we head back to Lyall's - Lyall goes to work - and Jesse shows up to rehearse quickly. We breeze through the songs and I'm starting to thing that this whole crazy plan might just work. Jesse takes off and Brenda and Lyall get back from work. Since I last crashed with them, they've got hitched in Jamaica and are now expecting (Congrats you two!) - way more than I got done last year.

Aside from a baby, Brenda is also working on a "secret project" in the garage which Lyall isn't allowed to look at and neither am I. It somehow involves her nephew and a can a spray paint.

We saddle up and head out to the folk fest. I'm not playing tonight, which is AWESOME - it means I can dance, hang out in a hammock, hand out comics, eat amazing backstage food and see some old friends. I see Stacey and we talk about playing some tennis one of these mornings. Dave Barnes who always has a big folk fest party, tells me he's glad I'm back because I bring a descriptive eye for watching the festival - he says he's looking forward to reading my 2008 fest blog (no pressure!).

Backstage I say hi to some friends from last year, Char, Paul, etc. Funny how facebook makes it feel like we've actually kept in touch... I also meet the Outspoken Wordsmiths - spoken word anarchists who tell me about roadkill they found on the way to the festival.

Onstage, I catch some good tunes - including local Torontonian Sarah Burton, who I introduce myself to after. I always meet the best Toronto musicians outside of Toronto - I guess we're all too busy touring to hang out back home...

Lyall and I still haven't rehearsed, so we regretfully skip Deep Dark Woods' set and head back home to get in some rehearsing.

Lyall is a big rock drummer. He likes hitting the drums very hard to classic, big, awesome rock. I, on the other hand, play very pretty, sensitive, acoustic folk tunes where you should really hear the lyrics. Neither of these are bad things - but in combination they are not exactly chocolate and peanut butter. So rehearsing, while fun, is not easy and there is a lot of finding common ground and figuring out compromises. We skip a couple songs and head back in time to catch the Dusty Roads Band's set - I am, to be honest, a leeeetle nervous about the whole thing - but Lyall assures me it'll all work out once we're all together.

Matt finds me and mysteriously hands me a slip of paper for my Sunday workshop - "Songwriter's Sweatshop" - where we have to make up a new song for the festival. The challenge apparently is to work in a line that the audience has voted on: "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier"... thanks a lot, audience.

I collapse into a hammock. I doze to some good bluesy rock by Dusty Roads and a nice tweener by Serena Postel. But eventually I get restless. JFK & The Conspirators are good reggae, but I'm feeling far from home and I head out to the main road to find a pay phone. I sing to myself about not being a soldier, but don't come up with much.

Outside by a Burger King I find the "hang out and show off your car" crowd, but no pay phone. A couple blocks away I find the "dress up to get drunk and puke in the bushes" crowd. Neither has any idea that there's an amazing folk festival going on a couple blocks away.

I phone home and then head back and am tooooo tired for fire dancing - I know, I know - but I've been up a looong time - so I head back home and pass out.

SATURDAY (in which I break a string, break a sweat, break out my dance moves, get drunk, and don't remember much else)

I get up early to be a keener and write my "soul/soldier" song - I come up with 2 tunes - one about a guy I met down in Maryland (a soldier from Iraq who wanted to become a folk singer) and a goofy one about being a lover not a fighter.

Brenda, Lyall's wife and I hang out the rest of the morning. She makes fresh baked muffins and I make fresh made CDs and comics. The CDs are demos recorded in my living room featuring all my funny tunes - and especially Jetpack, since I thought people might riot if I didn't record it (I'm working on it! hold yer horses...). Brenda finishes muffins and leaves to continue work on her secret project - very mysterious... I eat a lot of muffins.

I head in for my workshop at one o'clock - "Songs I Wouldn't Sing to My Mother." I have a confession to make: I actually phoned my mother to ask her which songs I should play for this, since she's heard all of them. I opt for "Guilt Trip Song" (which I edit slightly for the youngin's) "Subway Sparrow" and "My Mother's Lesbian Jewish Wiccan Wedding" (although this is her favourite song). Joining me onstage is CR Avery, who does awesome-possum spoken word beatbox while playing keys, harmonica, and smoking 2 packs in an hour. He is the festival hit and jams with everyone. He also has matching sunglasses and ties - and, according to some of the ladies, very tight pants. CR loves "My Mother's Lesbian Jewish Wiccan Wedding."

After the workshop, I hang out with another old friend, Marni - then Lyall and I head back to rehearse with Jesse - but Jesse is delayed playing a show down south. Lyall and I keep wittling away the tunes, then head back to the festival, only to turn around once we get a call from Jesse. It's 6pm. We're playing at 8pm. We haven't played the songs together. I am quietly stressed out.

But like Lyall predicted, it all falls into place real nice. We get through all the songs, cutting one or two and it's all going swimmingly until... I break a string. @#%Q^$. I borrow Lyle's black acoustic and we head over in rockstar style in Lyall's $200 Fiat - getting in with tons of time to hand out more comics and to stress out a bit.

Marti Sabit opens for us with a tweener - last year we became myspace friends. Remembering my tweener last year, I try to set up quietly behind her.

8pm is one of the nicest sets in Brandon - the sun is setting behind us and even though some people have to squint, it is the sweetest atmosphere. Dave Barnes gives me a huge and very generous introduction. I start out with an inside joke, saying "there's been a lost item: has anyone seen a jetpack?" and then we kick into Jetpack. People dance - and from the back, Brenda comes out with her nephew - both wearing homemade jetpacks with "JETPACK - DAVID HEIN CO." written on them. Made out of old backpacks, with pop bottles and ribbons for flames, they are amazing and make me totally laugh mid-song. BEST SECRET PROJECT EVER. (Have I mentioned how great Lyall & Brenda are? Homemade muffins, drumming, jetpacks, snacks, alchohol, and awesomeness - and next year Brenda plans to make little jetpacks for all the kids at the festival. Best hosts ever.)

The set goes quick - the crowd is lovely and I'm pretty all around happy. Everyone sings along to Jetpack and seems to love My Mother's L.J.W.W. I make fake angry faces at Lyle during Guilt Trip Song. For the last song, Dear Aunty Emm, I somehow assemble a TON of other singers, non-singers and friends for an impromptu back-up singing session from the Brandon Tabernackle Choir - I think I taught about 5 people the part right before the show and yet somehow twice that showed up onstage - some completely confused about what they were doing. Awesome, awesome impromptu folk fun. Thanks to Jesse & Lyle for coming together to backup a completely unnecessarily-stressed lead singer.

Afterwards, I'm told later, there is a swarm on the CD tent and one nice couple runs up to me to get me to sign it. Apparently they really enjoyed my blog from last year (again, no pressure... =).

And the rest is gravy. Jacob & Lilly do a sweet set followed by Janksta! featuring the amazing Matt Duboff on drums and Brandon legend, Jan Ek writing cool dancey reggae-inspired political tunes - featuring the only song I know to feature prominently the word "vomit."

I dance a lot.

Afterwards, I hang out with Brenda waiting for Lyle and the crew to strike. Then we head out to Dave Barnes place for a traditional saturday night party - Lyle and Brenda give me a bottle of wine and I make my way through 3/4 of it (with some help) while jamming and slowly forgetting how to play guitar. At some point, Lyall loses me, but hears jetpack being requested and played across the firepit... Later - WAY later - we decide to go, but Dave first takes us down to the River quickly - one of my favourite views in Brandon: mist and cool blue moonlight reflected out of the darkness.... But we're late! A cab is waiting - so we tear through the darkness, really, really drunk and really, really lucky we don't kill ourselves...

SUNDAY & MONDAY (in which I play a brand new song and find my way home)

How did my feet get this dirty? I don't remember my feet getting this dirty last time...

We wake up LATE. We get some breakfast. We hit the festival with some time to hang out before my workshop. I catch Sarah Burton and Ory No'Man at the kids tent - nice new Toronto friends and good songsters. Serena Postal also does a sweet set.

I still have no idea how I'm getting back to Winnipeg - the plan right now is that I'm crashing with Mitch Podolak, founder of the Winnipeg folk festival, and then leaving at 4 in the morning to fly back. No rest for the wicked. But I still need a lift.... two rides have fallen through, but I've learned that stressing is not necessary in Brandon - it'll all work out somehow, I'm sure.

I head backstage with my new songs and hang out with Jan, Sarah, and everyone else - all prepping for our sweatshop. I bully Marti into writing a song on the spot and ask Matt if we can bring our lyrics onstage with us. "Well it's up to you if you want to look professional," he says.

There are a lot of us, so we only get one song, which is fine. I host by making stupid jokes inbetween each act. What's great about workshops like this is that they're specific to THIS festival - they're immediate - and they're pretty cool - each of us comes up with a totally different interpretation of "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier." Jan, is my favourite - he comes onstage with about 80 sheets of papers and lays them out at his feet and launches into a rap about how everyone fights for something and is therefore a soldier - he fights discrimination as a gay man in Brandon - but it's this fighting that gives us our soul. VERY cool.

Me, I go with a goofy song "for all the lovely ladies in Brandon." Sarah calls me a suck-up and a I agree. Here's the tune:

I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I've bot bowls, but I'm a terrible bowler
I'm a gentlemen, but not a gentlemen caller
I'm coming to Brandon, so lock up your daughters

Cause I-I-I, I was not made for fighting
Just occasional biting, baby, maybe you and I
were made for making babies
Why-y-y, why don't you spend the ni-i-ight?
Cause sometimes a singer can make a hot husband
I'm not made for fighting, no ladies, I'm just made for loving

I've got bags, but I don't have baggage
I take cabs, but I don't like cabbage
I've got all kinds of patience, but I'm not a doctor
I heard all of the girls in Brandon like rockstars

I-I-I, I was not made for fighting
Just occasional biting, baby, maybe you and I
were made for making babies
Why-y-y, why don't you spend the ni-i-ight?
Cause sometimes a singer can make a hot husband
I'm not made for fighting, no ladies, I'm just made for loving

I've got hands, but baby that don't mean I'm handsome
I'm stealing your heart, gonna hold it for randsome
My heart's on my sleeve, or maybe on my pants
and I'm looking for more, but let's start with a dance

I'm a man, but I've still got manners
but I've been banned from some bands for my banter
I've heard some ladies questioning which guy is best for them
Tell them the answer is playing in front of them

I-I-I, I was not made for fighting
Just occasional biting, baby, maybe you and I
were made for making babies
Why-y-y, why don't you spend the ni-i-ight?
Cause sometimes a singer can make a hot husband
I'm not made for fighting, no ladies, I'm just made for loving

Afterwards, I buy a souvenir for my cat - a little yarn ball thing - and cash out at the merch tent - doing okay too, thank you very much. I trade a couple CDs with other musicians and then chill out with Brenda and Lyall.

Finally Matt hooks me up with Jacob & Lilly for a lift. Jacob and Lilly are actually Karla and Caleb... and they're not together... it's confusing... but they are amazing musicians who have been kicking ass and taking names across the country.

We head out and talk music, fast food, and yackity yack until Winnipeg. They're great, great folks who I hope will end up being good friends. Karla's all motherly and they give me some great music advice. Nice!

I get to Mitch's at around 10 and hang out with his family, talking babies with his son and Nazis with Mitch (you have to know him to understand...). Mitch tells me that he wants to book me for a series of house concerts - apparently, he had "spies" in Brandon who told him I was good. I go to bed for about 3 hours pretty darn happy with the whole weekend.

4 in the morning is very early, but riding first-class makes it better. I should really be sleeping - but Iron Man is playing....