[In which I’m thwarted by Santa Claus, hide out with Al Capone, and write a song about Beer, Lemons, and Herpes]

I’m just trying to fill my car up (hooray for low gas prices!) but my GPS refuses to get me to a street that isn’t blocked off. Every turn is blocked off by police and I start to wonder if coming to Moose Jaw was that wise. Moose Jaw is well known for one thing: a honeycomb of tunnels underneath that we’re lived in by the Chinese working population AND by Mr. Al Capone. Yes – this is a city of criminals and secret activities – and now all the streets are barricaded off. Greeeeat.

Turns out though that it’s the Brandon Santa Clause Parade. I eventually get to a gas station and then back to Bobby’s Place, where I’m playing. Bobby’s Place is one of my favourites – the last time I played was a Monday, so I’m looking forward to a Saturday – and I’m not disappointed – the place is packed. I set up and then head over to the hotel where I’ve got a room – at "Capone’s Hideaway" Motel. It’s not exactly a 5 star, but it’s a room and it’s much nicer than hiding out in a tunnel.

Bobby’s place is one of my favourites because I always get a place to stay, a nice crowd and a good meal with vegetables – for some reason, I always want vegetables here and they always make a mean salad.

I meet a nice guy who asks “are you related to Ted Hein?” “Yeah – he’s my dad.” Turns out he knows my Dad from a long time ago and lost track of him when he lived in Grand Prairie. Apparently my North of Nowhere poster cinched the deal since, according to him, nowhere is more like “North of Nowhere” than Grand Prairie.

Again, it’s a combo of a show for some and background music for others, but I have a pretty fun time. I make up a song for every set and the first suggestion is to write a song about “Beer, Lemons, and Herpes” – which is called, appropriately “Beer, Lemons and Herpes” – surely destined for my next album.

After a long time, we wrap up and I run back to Capone’s Hideaway. I need some sleep since tomorrow I have to drive like 82 hours towards Vancouver, where I’m playing in 2 days…

I’ve now played in Brandon more than almost any other town in my travels across Canada – after two folk fests and a stop or two, it’s nice to have friends who are looking forward to me arriving.

I’m playing at the Lady of the Lake – which I always assumed to be a coffee shop of some sort, but instead turns out to be a gigantic very cool antique shop – with a restaurant and stage tacked onto the end. Everywhere you look it’s stunningly decorated – in one corner, pink Christmas trees are matched with pink bears and chairs and bears, oh my, while in another there’s a black and white movie motif. The place is massive.

The restaurant itself is also huge, with ridiculously high ceilings and tons of tables – which are apparently all sold out – less due to me (I think I sold out 2 tables…) than a couple Christmas parties and fans of the band playing after me, a blues act called The Majestics. I’m only playing from 6-8, but am looking forward to my dinnertime show – especially to a packed house and a couple tables of friends.

While The Majestics sound check, I wander around the store looking at Christmas stuff – wishing, even though I like being in Brandon, that I was back home planning Christmas trees and putting up stockings for the cats.

Before I play, I hang out with some friends from the Brandon Folk Fest. Apparently the folk fest is in the midst of political craziness – some of my friends who’ve worked on the fest for years, have quit in protest over it being taken over by a local politician. It’s a long story and I only get to talk for ten minutes. One friend refuses to talk about it until he’s been drinking. It sound pretty awful all around.

The show is great – despite the tawky gigantic auto parts maker Christmas Party next to me. The Majestics in the front row make a nice audience, some ladies in the corner do a bit of seated dancing, my fest friends sing along, and even a couple auto part girls seem to be enjoying it. One asks me if I’m married and when I tell her yes, she tells me I’ve just ruined her whole evening.

It’s a bizarre mix of being background music and actually putting on a show – but I have fun and it seems to work alright. And playing to a packed house is always nice – even if they’re only there for the other band or the food… I make up a couple tunes

My favourite moment is that at the back of the room, a couple do some whistling. Later, I go over to introduce myself – and it turns out they’re folk fest attendees and fans of my song, Jetpack. In fact, there’s a Christmas tree behind them, with cards that you can write your Christmas wish onto as ornaments. They’ve written “I want a David Hein style Jetpack”… coincidentally my Christmas wish as well. Thanks, Guys!

After the show, we head back to Lyle & Brenda’s for a jam & wine-drinking session with a variety of hard rockers and folksy types. I’m somewhat more into the wine-drinking, but I’m happy to strum away in the background, especially after playing for two hours earlier. Lyle is particularly soused and makes out with a harmonica seductively. Dave plays accordion over classic rock tunes and does a bit of pole dancing. Paul, who plays classical acoustic, shows off his electric skills.

In the middle of a long tour, it’s pretty great to come back to a place where I’ve played a fair bit and have a bunch of great, drunk friends.

I spend a bit of time with my Dad the next morning and then head out towards Regina. The prairies are still pretty to me and Saskatchewan feels a little different from Alberta – a bit flatter with even more sky and golden fields.

I’m on my 2nd Harry Potter books on tape (er… ipod) and it gets me all the way to Regina – capital of Saskatchewan and birthplace of DAVID HEIN.

I know there are lots of parts of Regina that I recognize, but however my little GPS gets me to the restaurant where I’m playing is not one of them – although I do always appreciate seeing brand names that you only see in the prairies (Safeway, Taco Time…).

I’m playing at the Cathedral Freehouse – a nice little bar/restaurant – and I’m staying just around the corner from it with Jill Straker, sister of Jeff Straker – one of the 3 Guys From The Prairies group that I play with and a very cool singer/songwriter (go check him out now at www.jeffstraker.com). Jill is also very cool and has let me drop stuff off at her place before hand. She and Jeff have just bought the place together and Jill has just moved in – but despite boxes, it’s a lovely place. Jeff texts me to tell me how strange it is that I’m sleeping in his house before him. There was some debate about whether Jill’s couch would fit me, but it looks pretty good.

The show isn’t quite as lovely. The music section of the bar is completely empty even though the other section is relatively full. I don’t know whether people come in and decide that they want to talk or what, but no one comes to listen, except for Harry the waiter and Jill, who shows up halfway through. Jill sits patiently laughing at my jokes and even sings along (she also performs with Jeff and has a nice set of pipes). She asks me to do a couple Jeff Straker covers, which I totally am unable to do (Jeff, I only know the words and chords to your choruses!). It’s not much of a show for her, unfortunately – I feel a bit silly playing either to the entire other side of the restaurant or just to Jill. After two sets, Harry nicely lets me take off. When it’s a solo show and the audience can’t outnumber the performer, it’s a bit ridiculous.

I head back to Jill’s and have an excellent sleep on her couch, which fortunately fits me fine.

Cochrane is farther than I think from Medicine Hat and my GPS, which is normally oh so reliable tells me to turn left off of a bridge. “Recalculating… recalculating…”

But I eventually make it.

Jo-Anne is an artist and you can tell that immediately when you walk into her home. First of all, she just left the door hanging open and went back to making dinner – so I walked in and was greeted by several statues, paintings, and pieces of art in the main lobby. Eventually I found Jo-Anne and she told me that her late husband was also and artist – and you can tell – 2 artists make a lot of art and her house is a testament to their productivity. Her daughter Mary is also an artist – an aspiring horror filmmaker.

After a lovely fish dinner, during which Mary tells me her favourite horror films (Nightmare on Elm Street – old school!), I set up in an art filled living room. Soon enough people arrive and we all mingle. It’s a nice group that seems somewhat linked by a home schooling network (Mary and some of the other teenagers that arrive are all home schooled).

Another old friend, Sally, who lives 15 minutes away, also joins us. We knew each other back when I worked as a set and lighting designer and she was a stage manager and we’re now in completely different lines of work, not seeing each other in years.

Although we have easily over 20 people, the show is oddly quiet – to me at least. To this point, I’ve prided myself on perfecting some of my song introductions with jokes that always seem to get a laugh – but tonight, many of them don’t smile, so I’m not sure how well I’m connecting with them. But at intermission, I talk to enough of them that I feel like it’s going well enough.

One nice guy gives me the secret origin of the word “Wiccan” (from My Mother’s Lesbian Jewish Wiccan Wedding). Apparently it’s derived from a plant that when applied to certain sensitive body parts would make you feel like you were flying. These would be occasionally applied to broomsticks, which people would ride – hence witches “flying” on broomsticks. Innnnteresting.

The second set feels a bit better. In the front is a nice family with two kids – the youngest boy looks like he wants to fall asleep, curled up with his mom – but he’s a trooper and stays awake till the end – and when presented with 3 options for an encore he chooses all of them. We make up a song called “Falling Star” about the latest meteorite crash in Saskatchewan and then I play a new tune called “Hold on Maria” – which one guy tells me was his favourite of the night.

I sell a number of CDs, but have to run – I’m playing in Regina the next day and it’s enough of a drive that I’m crashing at my Dad’s again. I say goodbye to Jo-Anne, Mary, and the statues and then hit the road.

My GPS takes me the wrong way – I don’t care what it says – driving on a dirt road for an hour is the WRONG way. But like Cochrane, I eventually get there, load in the bare minimum and quietly crash.

… but before I take off into Saskatchewan away from the Home Routes concert series…

SPECIAL THANKS to all of my amazing hosts, to Tim, Mitch & Ava at Home Routes, who set up this house concert tour – and to everyone who came out to the shows. Whether you’d been to many before or it was your first time, please keep coming out to them and tell others – they’re pretty magical little shows and I’m looking forward to playing more of them in the future. If you’re interested in hosting a show like the ones that you read about here, check out www.homeroutes.ca.

I get into Calgary around 5 and arrive at Glenn & Jane’s place. They’re somewhat new to house concerts and we play around with the living room arrangement – they’re expecting 40 people –the biggest crowd yet. They’re also Castle Mountain people and have heard good things from their friends. House concert people and ski people are good people – and Glenn and Jane prove the same.

They also have two lovely goldens – Maddy and Lucy –both are big sucks and require a fair bit of petting and hugging.

An old friend, Alex, comes to this show – and we actually get 40 people – FANTASTIC! I sit by the fireplace and go through my set – I’ve now changed the Montreal verse of “Victoria” to:

They say Montreal will burn you
She’ll say “Laissez-faire”
But her little Alouetters
Couldn’t beat the Stampeders

Bored with Calgary verses, I also add a house specific verse:

I’ve been out here a couple weeks
I’ve been enjoying these plains
But I haven’t had quite as much fun
As I’ve had at Glenn & Jane’s

The crowd is excellent – good singing along and a momentum to the laughter that you only get with 40 people. I have some great conversations with everyone afterwards.

You can tell it’s a good party when someone steals someone else’s pair of shoes… fortunately mine are safe.

I head up to bed and spend some time on the internet. I’m sadly behind on my blogging. It takes time, people! Tomorrow night is Cochrane and the last stop on the Home Routes house concert tour. And while I’m looking forward to the rest of the tour, part of me is wishing I was heading back home.

All this tour, I’ve been watching the mountains waaaaaay in the background – barely there silhouettes and often invisible – but now I’m driving towards them… and they’re getting bigger.

They resolve into waves of blue misty watercolour cutout mountains – beautiful... I get distracted by the giant wind farms out here – I was told there’d be a lot of them but… THIS is a LOT of them! Holy! They’re everywhere and seemingly random groupings. I stick my camera out the window and try to get pictures while not dropping my camera and not driving into oncoming traffic.

And suddenly, while I was looking at giant fans, the mountain silhouettes turn into actual mountains with trees and snow and avalanche signs. They’re stunning – particularly after over a week of prairies.

I make a couple phone calls at Beaver Mines, the last spot for cell signal (Gerry, my host, says “watch out for moose” and then head into the wilderness of Castle Valley. Cruising along a gravel road, I kick up a ton of dust behind me. After about fifteen minutes, I spot a truck coming my way, kicking up even more dust behind it. We cross and for a second I’m lost in a sandstorm – I brake, slowing down – and thank god – a second later a deer dashes right in front of me across the road.

I drive much slower into the Castle Mountain ski resort and am welcomed by Gerry, who’s driven down to meet me on his quad with his 2 golden retrievers, Zella and Zuzu. Zuzu has brought a stuffed bear with her. We drive up the hill a bit to Gerry & Lynn’s place –a beautiful ski resort lodgy place with excellent warpy wood banisters (I find out later that Gerry builds these).

Gerry & Lynn are boisterous, friendly folks – they live up here with their pups year round and they’ve been doing house concerts for years now. Good people. We eat dinner and they tell me a bit about Castle Mountain – apparently one of the best skiing areas around (hey Ferney folks – these Castle Mountain people are dissing your black diamonds). Gerry is also a cancer survivor and Lynn controls her arthritis – both pretty amazingly tough, they’re unfortunately moving out of the resort soon, selling their beautiful place. Gerry explains that after a while you just need a change...

Zella, who likes getting her belly rubbed, is apparently the matriarch of the mountain – the alpha dog of, not only all the dogs in the resort, but also the bears, cougars, coyotes, etc. She’s an 11 year old dog, but still runs around like crazy – she’ll round up a pack to bark off a bear, or fight a cougar herself. Zuzu on the other hand is only 2, still carries her bear around, and is still learning how to fight cougars… they both like dog treats and getting their bellies rubbed.

I’ve heard all along that the Castle Mountain shows are a bit of a party and this one proves no different. Even though it’s a Monday night we get a pretty good crowd – and a quite eclectic one. There’s an older crowd who seems to want a nice night of music, a younger crowd, made up of local working crews, who seem to want a big party, and Gerry’s practically a crowd in himself – he likes to shout out jokes and banter with me – he’s hilarious. It occasionally feels like I’m playing three shows, one for each crowd. But surprisingly everyone enjoys themselves. By the end, Dear Aunty Emm somehow devolves into an improv song called “I hate farms” – dedicated to another Jerry, who owns one of the biggest potato farms in North America – nearby in Lethbridge. He’s apparently responsible for McCain’s French fries.

The young crowd is part of a local “Fire Safe” crew – they’re contracted to fly around in helicopters to forest areas where the trees are overgrown and to remove the brush below the trees, the dead trees, and basically anything overly flammable – they hack their way through these areas and then burn their piles up – working about 12 hours a day, it sounds like hard work, but pretty rewarding – especially since they may be responsible for stopping some of the major forest firest out here.

Outside there are 10 million stars in the sky. Gerry tells me that this is nothing – up on the hill you see even more.

After the show, I hang out with Gerry & Lynn, who tell me countless Zella stories, bear stories, wolf stories, coyote stories – basically letting me know how close I am to dying out here – and then wish me a good night.

The next morning, Gerry takes me out on the quad, with the dogs running ahead – we driving around and I learn about packrat tracks (apparently packrats are real – they like to collect shiny object like pop can tabs, and they also smell horrific), snowflake rocks (dark stones flecked with white volcanic rocks), as well as valley politics, poachers, mountain men, and a million other things. At one point, Gerry says, “well, we’ve gone up about 800 feet, we should turn around to get you off in time.” 800 FEET? Apparently all the roads just slowly wind up the mountain and we’ve been going up the entire time. We stop by some creeks and the dogs go swimming in the sub-zero water, crashing through the ice happily.

We get back and I pack up – heading back into Calgary, I can’t think of a bigger difference from this land of stars, bears, and mountains.

Okay, I’m sucking up a bit to my Calgary audiences, but still… I watched the game with my Dad in Medicine Hat and was more than usually excited when they won.

Here also are my dad's two cats - one weighing slightly more than the other.

Frank and Debby are a great folksy couple in Coaldale with a couple horses for sale, two dogs, some chickens and a nice farmhouse. They’ve lit up a Christmas tree out front for tonight’s show and I pull up next to the prettiest sunset I’ve seen the whole trip. Bright reds and oranges splash across the clouds and I remember again why, to quote Blue Rodeo, I miss those Western skies.

Coaldale, I find out, is a bedroom community of Lethbridge. It’s in the same desert areas as Medicine Hat and it’s much warmer than Calgary or Cochrane, where it felt like I was much farther north. Coaldale is known for its Birds of Prey rescue centre – which explains their tagline “The Town that Gives a Hoot.” Coaldale also recently prides itself on delivering the latest Canadian Idol, giving Medicine Hat’s Kaylan Porter a run for his money.

Frank and Deb’s place is great for shows, with two level audience seating, most on the main floor, but some up on the balcony above watching me through the railing. The audience arrives and seats themselves. The audience includes a fair number of church choir singers, so the sing alongs sound lovely. Apparently we’re in the bible belt of Alberta and I worry a bit again about “My Mother’s Lesbian Jewish-Wiccan Wedding”, but it goes over fine – or at least, no one runs me out of town.

I have to constantly remember to sing up to the balcony above me, tilting my head every second line. I ask everyone’s advice on how to get out to Vancouver and everyone agrees I should fly. I’m now a bit freaked out about the 2-day drive from Moose Jaw to Vancouver (with a show on the 2nd day) – in the little Suzuki Swift with no snow-tires.

The most awkward part of the show is when the door in the front hall next to me opens suddenly and I end up making conversation with the new guests who have joined us, clearly taking off their coats and shoes, only to find out from the audience, who can see into the front hall, that no one is there and the door just blew open by itself. The crowd forgives this though and by night’s end gives me the best encore clapping an cheering yet. I’m never prepared for encores, so I give them a choice of songs and they pick both. Nice.

Afterwards, one of their guests, a police officer in Lethbridge tells me that he really likes that my songs are all about real things and real people – he gives me a Lethbridge police pin that he designed and invites me to come on a “ride-along” with him, hoping that I’d write a song about the experience… I can’t wait – very cool.

Once almost everyone has left we do another jam – pulling out more guitars, songsheets and wine. A lovely end to a lovely evening.

I leave as early as I can – after pancakes – and head out on Highway 1 to Medicine Hat – where my Dad lives – and where I’m going to play the first show I’ve every played for him. I’m a bit nervous, honestly, but the shows have been going well and my voice feels good.

I get to my Dad’s and we hang out a bit – I make some more CDs and play with his cats, Katey and Siley. We talk a lot about the shows – something we don’t normally do over the phone – it’s nice to give him the inside scoop on what I think during the shows.

Finally, I head out to Blair and June’s place, which is on the outskirts of Medicine Hat – it’s a beautiful place that Blair built himself. Although they’ve done a number of these shows and Blair was the first to get involved with them, tonight he’s stuck in Ottawa, so June’s fling solo.

We chat happily and I play with her border collie, Sadie, who seems to have an unlimited need to chase stuffed animals. She has a stuffed skunk that makes a noise similar to a Transformer when you bite it. She bites it a lot.

June’s mom and dad show up and then my dad shows up. It’s not like the show will really be any different, but I’m still nervous about playing in front of him – maybe it’s because this is one of the biggest reasons why I wanted to play this tour. Maybe it’s because I’ve been playing “My Mother’s Lesbian Jewish-Wiccan Wedding” and I have no idea what my dad’ll think of it.

Unlike the night before, the crowd doesn’t really know each other, which makes for a nice night of socializing – everyone meeting each other for the first time. My dad seems to have a good time and I introduce myself to everyone.

June introduces me saying that Blair was really sorry he couldn’t be here – they’d listened to my CD and were looking forward to me coming the most out of the lineup – which again is very cool, since I kind of think my old CD is, well, old.

The chairs are lined up about Sadie’s width away from me – she snakes herself through the audience during the sets getting petted. The audience is excellent and my voice feels better than ever. Occasionally I glance over to my dad and he’s laughing and singing along with all of them – and he laughs with everyone during My Mother’s Lesbian Jewish-Wiccan Wedding – I’m a happy singer/songwriter. Betty, my dad’s wife arrives a couple songs in – she got stuck at work. At intermission I check in with them and they’re having a good time.

I meet a nice couple from Holland, Piet and Ina – Piet tells me the story of Piet Hein, a famous German pirate who fought the Spanish in Cuba, stealing all of the Spanish armada’s gold and silver. Apparently there’s a Danish song devoted to him. Who knew I had a famous Spanish-fighting Cuban-german pirate relative? There’s even a hotel chain in Amsterdam named after him.

In the second set I rib the Medicine Hat-ers about their city’s tagline, “The Gas City” – I told them that Rocky Mountain House was “Where Adventure Begins” and they could at least do “Where Gas Adventures Begin.”

June sings along in the background, mouthing the words to the songs off my album. In the second set, Sadie gets hold of her stuffed skunk again and goes off on a skunk solo during a song.

Eventually the night ends and we say goodbye to everyone – my Dad tells me he really enjoyed it. Someone tells June’s parents that they have a very nice son-in-law… ummmm… sorry, Blair!

I head back to my Dad’s and stay up with him and Betty for awhile – my Dad had a great time and wants to go to more house concerts – very cool.

I head back into Calgary and try to find a bank – everything I make is in 5’s, 10’s, and 20’s, so I have a wad of cash that I get nervous about carrying around. Afterwards I head to Chris & Jo-Anne’s – nice folks who are doing their first house concert.

Their kids, Cam and Griffin are great boys but totally different. Cam is into sports and Griffin is the resident artist – playing music on all sort of instruments, making comics, and generally being creative (sound familiar?).

Tonight’s crowd is interesting for a couple reasons – almost all of them are skiers and also, an old friend, Denene, from Toronto is coming to the show. The skiers are all serious skiers (case in point: Chris once got Jo-Anne an avalanche oxygen mask for a birthday present – yes, a mask, just in case you get buried in an avalanche… you have to REALLY want to ski, if there’s a chance there’s an avalanche, and you STILL go skiing!!!).

It’s nice to catch up with Denene - she’s getting married – Congrats, D!! – but part of my job is to meet everyone and kind of welcome them, so it’s hard to talk too much, just to her.

The show is downstairs in the basement. Like in Rocky Mountain House, my bedroom is right behind the performance space, which rocks! The show goes great – Chris & Jo-Anne pull out the most people on the tour so far and they’re an excellent group, with a rowdy front row. On the side, Gryphon watches – I think he’ll be playing house concerts soon. Or making comics. Or both.

After the show, two of their friends arrive late and I promise them a couple tunes once everyone else has left. They’re good folks who clean up completely. We head back downstairs and I ask Chris & Jo-Anne for requests from the show – and to my surprise Chris chooses My Eyes Wide and Seventeen – two of my older tunes – which is pretty cool. One of the nice things about this tour is the fact that I’m playing 2 hour shows, which means I have to play some of my older songs, which I don’t normally play – but it’s sweet to have people hear these songs again for the first time – and respond to them. Especially the somewhat more serious tunes – since I’m sometime known for my goofy tunes like Jetpack or My Mother’s Lesbian Jewish Wiccan Wedding.

We play songs until I feel like I’m going to fall asleep playing – so I stop playing and go fall sleep.

I drive out of Calgary past stretches of beautiful snow covered trees. Although I know we’re south of Calgary, it feels like I’m heading into some northern logging town.

I don’t get to see a lot of some of the towns that I stop in out here – I usually arrive around dark and leave in the morning– so often I have to ask things like “What’s Cochrane known for?”

Apparently it’s known for hangliding. Who knew?

Unfortunately it’s too cold to hanglide (I totally would), but instead I get to hang out with Brian and Carolyn, who are totally sweet. Brian and I share a love of comics and after dinner, he shows me his excellent collection of Marvel Masterworks, and Calvin & Hobbes books. I space out a bit to early Captain America stories, but snap back in time to set up.

It’s a Wednesday and I’ve heard from some of the house concert hosts that school nights are harder to get people out, so when only 10 people show up, I’m not surprised. But I’m also not disappointed, because the crowd is great. Everyone is totally nice and they include a couple incredibly talented painters, who have been involved with an amazing mural project in town – basically the town creates a huge mural, but each painter creates their own little 2’ x 2’ painting. Pretty neat – check it out and click on some of the individual squares.

Plus, for a 10 person show, everyone is loud, singing and laughing along with the best of them. And afterwards, they’re very nice – one nice art therapist, says that my song, High School Geography and Another Time or Year make for great musical therapy.

It’s a beautiful night, but I’m tired and head to bed… and then read Calvin & Hobbes for several hours…

I spent the day in Starbucks - apparently if you buy a starbucks card in a tiny mitten, you get 2 hours of free internet everyday. Plus, they have awesome hot chocolate. A good deal in my books.

Finally, I head out of town - although this show is listed as Calgary, it's technically on the outskirts in a beautiful log cabin home - the dream home of Karen and Bill, who meet me and welcome me to their lovely home. They're Ontarians and theatre folk, so we're instantly related - Karen's a director and teaches high school theatre, while being totally involved with the Canadian improv scene. Bill's a technician who has built, run, flown, and teched every aspect of theatre shows. They moved out to Alberta a while back and, since they were building their dream home, decided to construct a full black box theatre in the basement. Seriously, who knew?! There's a booth, a grid, a green room, and theatre seating - it's pretty cool!

We eat dinner and I get introduced to their lovely cats - Gizmo, who likes to hug people and chew on buttons is my favourite.

Karen and Bill have been doing house concerts in the theatre for a while - I decide to continue with the acoustic route and forego the sound system, since the acoustics in the space are beautiful. People arrive and I meet some of them - this house concert is a bit more formal or professional than the others, possibly because of their theatre experience, not to mention their theatre! Everyone troops down to the basement, Karen gives an intro and I come out from backstage. With the stage lights on, I can't see the audience and it all feels a bit bizarre compared to the living rooms I've been playing in the past couple days. But the audience is lovely and even if I can't see them, I can hear them laughing and clapping along.

On my 2nd song, one of my strings breaks. I hate this. It generally throws off my whole show. I get rid of the string while telling a story - I can't change the string since all my gear is backstage, so I play the rest of the set on 5 strings which constantly go out of tune. I'm sure no one cares, but I feel a bit off balance.

The 2nd set though, once restrung, is excellent and intimate. The crowd asks me Muppet and touring questions and it feels like a great dialogue rather than a one-way show.

After everyone leaves, Karen, Bill and I sip wine outside on their deck with a fire blazing. We share theatre stories and they tell me that deer frequently come up to their house. I stare into the darkness hoping to see one, but none come. Eventually, wined out, I head to bed.

The next day, Karen and Bill leave me the keys and I hang out, using the internet, playing with Gizmo and eating delicious home made bread. Way better than Starbucks.

[where adventure begins... and where I get drunk on wine and play songs way too fast]

Contrary to popular belief - or at least MY belief - Rocky Mountain House is a city, not a house. Apparently it's the place where the Hudson's Bay Company started and people regularly revisit famous Canadian voyageur routes from here in giant canoes and sled dogs. It's motto is "where adventure begins" and I wish I could stay long enough to play. Travelling north, I pass buffaloes, lamas, and cows in golden fields glinting with snow - it's very pretty. I also pass a small town called Caroline - I roll the windows down and sing my song "Caroline" to them. No one seems particularly impressed, but I'm happy.

Sadly again, even though I have an address, I get lost - the house is brand new and my GPS doesn't think it exists. I drive through a game of ball hockey twice before my host, Cheri, comes to my rescue. She and her husband, Doug's place is beautiful - all wood and stone and set against a backdrop of trees and mountains. This is their first house concert and they've gone all out, borrowing a popcorn maker and stocking up on wine.

After another great home cooked meal (okay, I'll stop talking about them now - but Mom, I'm being very well fed), I take ANOTHER steam shower and, freshly cleaned, I set up as Cheri and Doug's friends arrive. It's always interesting to see where people come from for shows - this crowd is filled with Doug's Shell co-workers, Cheri's swimming coach, and teaching friends - all very sweet.

The show is a lot of fun. Doug puts a cowboy hat on my head for Caroline and a fight breaks out between Calgary and Edmonton football fans. Everyone sings along and heckles me happily. I sell a LOT of CDs. Again, I improv up a verse for Victoria:

Well they said that it was far out
They said 3 hours out of town
But they never told me how much fun I'd be having
At Rocky Mountain House

Afterwards, after everyone left, I play cover tunes with Doug, Cheri and a couple of their friends as we drink wine. I babble my way through one-week and end of the world as we know it, realizing that I haven't really drank much recently and am suddenly a super cheap date.

The next morning, after another steam shower (where have these things been all my life?), I eat breakfast with Cheri and she tells me that there's routinely moose, cougars, and deer outside their house. Luckily I don't see any cougars, but Rocky is definitely where adventure begins.

[in which, I wear a cowboy-shirt for the first time, rock out acoustically and virtually, and it snows...]

For the first time on tour, I don't get lost - I actually have an address and my GPS guides me neatly past a stadium packed with people to Allison and Paul's place. It's a beautiful house with an AMAZING shower downstairs (more on that later) and a nice dog named Mocha. Allison is a doctor, and we bond talking about standardized patient tests. Paul, her husband and another doctor, comes back with their son Evan from a Stampeders game - the Stamps have won and are heading to Montreal for the Grey Cup - pretty exciting. I should mention how nice all my hosts have been so far - house concert hosts are great people. They make you lasagna and welcome you into their home as if you were family.

After a brilliant lasagna dinner, we set up for the show and people start to arrive. Dave, a friend of theirs arrives early, apologizing for not being able to make it due to a wedding, but dropping off flowers and $20. Dave rocks.

The crowd spans a fair age range, from 20's to 70's - I meet a bunch of them and tell Paul that his friends are all nice - he replies that he has "no idea who half these people are." I love house concerts.

The show, I think, goes flawlessly. My voice is a back and feels great. Plus, what a great crowd - the biggest yet on this tour - and happy to sing along or get really quiet when I whisper. One man asks nicely before hand if he can put a microphone for his hearing aid up close to me - it's amazing that he came out to this and I hope he enjoyed it. Mocha wanders through the crowd getting petted - I should bring a nice golden retriever to all my shows. I introduce the show as the first I've ever played in Calgary and the first I've ever played in a cowboy shirt - everyone seems to approve of the shirt except for one woman afterwards who is convinced that I'm colour-blind and have no fashion sense.

Again, I improvise a verse for "Victoria" which goes:

They say Calgary's a wild one
And she'll take you for a ride
But I think I'm going to like her
And I hear that the Stampeders won tonight

The crowd goes wild.

I even get an encore, ending the show with Guilt Trip Song, which (thank god) goes well. I've played it once or twice to completely silent audiences who all suddenly think that I'm a psychopath.

Afterwards everyone's very nice, buying CDs and chatting - there are lots of Canada and world travellers in the crowd and we bond over cities we've seen. Finally the crowd dribbles away and Allison, Paul, Evan and I rock out downstairs on Rock Band. I'm okay on guitar and vocals, but kind of suck at drums. Finally I head to bed, but at 1am, Dave shows up again to apologize again for missing the show and to buy a set of CDs. Did I mention that Dave rocks?

The next morning, I wake up to a thick blanket of snow outside. Oh god. I was hoping for snow to start much later - if at all - this does not bode well for my little Suzuki Swift's trip through the mountains.

On the plus side though, I get to use Allison's infamous shower - which is a steam shower with a rain/overhead showerhead plus a normal showerhead, PLUS has 3 little side jets that I have no idea what are for except to really clean your stomach and back well. There are about 14 knobs to control it all. I stay in it for about half an hour.

Paul makes me amazing raspberry crepes. He also gives me a Stampeders hat, which is pretty close to "white hatting" - a tradition where Calgarians give newcomers a white hat. I'm a pretty happy touring musician.

I head out and am halfway down to Medicine Hat when Allison phones to tell me that I've left my itinerary there - I've now played 3 shows and have forgotten things at 2 of them.

I spend a day down in Medicine Hat visiting with my Dad, his wife, and their two cats. Thankfully all the snow melts away as I head south. I wash clothes. We go out for dinner and watch football, while I make more CDs. A nice day off from my grueling travels, playing guitar, taking steam showers and getting fed crepes.

[in which I meet a tailless pig, play in an old school hall for an internet show, meet the queen of the smurfs, and buy a cowboy shirt at "midnight madness"]

I roll into Olds around 5, employing my normal arrival style of driving past the house several times before finally pulling into the correct driveway. This is partly due to the fact that I keep arriving after dark and directions like "look for the big shiny barn" don't do much for you without any shininess.

I'm greeted by a nice, old dog and am welcomed into Sharyl and Warren's farmhouse - somewhat newly rebuilt after a horrific hail storm earlier this year. Sharyl and Warren are awesome folks and we take to each other immediately - their two kids, Joshy and Ryan are totally cute, showing me their bloody halloween costume and plastic katanas and throwing stars during an excellent home-cooked dinner. Sharyl was actually just in Toronto - she came out for the Tina Turner concert and threatens me with bodily harm if I don't go when she comes back to Toronto in December. The dog who met me at the door is Stanley Firetruck Cosco - named by Ryan, I think. Sharyl & Warren have been missing two other dogs for a couple days and they're worried that coyotes may have got them. Coyotes are apparently a regular problem out here - a while ago their basset hound got chased for miles by a pack of coyotes and recently their pet pig, Beulah, (yes, they have a pet pig and yes, she has a Jewish name) had her tail and a chunk of flank bitten off by them (she's okay). Warren, sad about his pups, wasn't sure if he was coming to show, but we get along so well that he agrees.

The show is being held in an old school house/community centre-esque place. It's fantastic - paint peeling and old wood - one of the most memorable places I've played - and inside, the piano and the wood chairs bring to mind Little House on the Prairie. Inside, a friendly guy named dave is setting up a camera for OldsTV.com - apparently the place to go for all your Olds info needs (who knew?) - and theoretically my show should be posted up there soon.

I get the kitchen as my warm-up room where I can go if I need to "get all zen" as Sheryl puts it. I tune up and play a bit with Josh and the uber-adorable 2-year old Annabelle on piano. Soon enough, a crowd comes in made up of friends, family and neighbours. Sheryl claims she didn't do much advertising, but apparently a poster on a local post box goes a long way. One family brings in 7 children. It's a pretty good crowd, considering I have competition - it's "Midnight Madness" in Olds - where all the stores stay open till midnight and there are sales and free hotdogs outside the bank.

For the first time, I get to see the package that was sent to the concert organizers - it includes a quick bio on all the artists - mine is mostly lifted from my website but mysteriously has the added line, "David looks normal enough, but beware - he has a creative mind and that makes him dangerous." I love it and make Sheryl say it in my introduction.

The show goes well - my voice is still a bit rough, but it's getting better - I try out a new tune called Victoria - a love song to Canadian cities - which features an improvised 3rd verse - tonight it goes:

Well, they say Calgary's a cool one
But it's nothing compared to Olds
It's just a little North and I'm sorry folks
But your city rhymes with "cold"

The kids get antsy quickly - Josh and Ryan run around a bit till Sheryl shoos them outside - but the 7 kids on the side bench sit nicely and listen, even though I can tell a couple are bored. Otherwise, it's a great show - people laugh in all the right places and sing along. I end the set with Dear Aunty Emm and immediately feel bad for Warren when I sing the song "I'm taking your little dog too" - but he seems alright when I apologize afterwards. I sell some CDs at and meet everyone - including Sheryl's boss, the local MLA and the mennonite family - who are totally nice. After the show all the kids amuse themselves by jumping out at people and screaming - I do it right back to them, which I think buys me more cred than any of my songs. I try to take a picture of them, but it ends up looking totally creepy - like something out of children of the corn.

Sheryl takes me into town for Midnight Madness - which is a little less "madness" than I expected - but maybe it's the cold. We stop into a cowboy store (I don't know what these are called, but they sell cowboy things...). I pick out a bunch of cowboy shirts and find a nice little green number - clearly this will make me fit into Alberta crowds as if I was born here. We check out cowboy boots as well, but I'm not quite ready for that level of cowboy lifestyle - plus, I don't know how I'd even decide - who knew they came in all shapes and sizes? Sheryl sports some pretty funky pink ones.

On the way home, we narrowly miss hitting a gigantic porcupine - Sheryl informs me sagely that "they can flip your car" and I believe her since she's had experience hitting animals - a while back she and her family hit a moose and survived thanks to being in a gigantic vehicle. My little Suzuki Swift seems very small all of a sudden.

The next morning, I give a quick guitar lesson to Joshy (who's the most musical kid I've met). We make up some songs and he plays ukelele - admittedly he hasn't totally mastered it at 3-years old, but I'm confident he'll pick it up.

Sheryl, her boys and I go for a walk in a "coulee" which, to those of you not in the know, is a "valley." I've never heard this term because I grew up in Saskatchewan - where a "hoody" is called "bunny hug."

This land has been with Sheryl's family for over 100 years - beautiful land, with well-worn paths, patches of trees, and deer running across the plains. We meet a pack of their family's horses who trot over happily to get their noses rubbed. Sheryl gives me a tour of local natural disasters - where the trees were all blown down, where the hail destroyed house and house. We stop at "the sand pit" and I try to teach Josh about geology and why there are striations in the rocks, but my 5th grade geography is showing. Sheryl says it's fine: "making up stuff is what you do when you're a parent."

We head back for lunch, and take one more trip to Sheryl's parents place to see her fine smurf collection. We also have a smurf collection at home, but Sheryl's is clearly superior - she has every smurf from Ugly Smurfette to the masked super-smurf. Apparently she had a cousin who worked at a toy store and only found out much later that many of her smurfs, um, "followed her cousin home." Awesome.

I say goodbye to everyone and head out of the farm, past Buella the pig, the fields of horses, and the woods filled with coyotes towards the big city of Calgary.